We're facebook friends in real life
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
