Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
