I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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