I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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