i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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