Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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