Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
do herpes really smell.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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