i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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