Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Randomize
