Please, let me fuck your mom
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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