I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
