I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
