hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize