So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
COCAINE IS GR8
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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