how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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