hell yes lets make some ravioli
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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