I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
