the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
