In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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