Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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