So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
