You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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