You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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