we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize