question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
