I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
sarcasm needs its own font
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
