Screwed.edu
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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