she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize