yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
