i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Randomize
