I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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