sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
40s are totally the cure
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
