My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
