....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
