Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
PANTIES FOUND
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