I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
