so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
