No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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