i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
