I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
