i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
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Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
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Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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