omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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