you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize