i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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