My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
