I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize