Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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