Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
