I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
