My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Randomize
