Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
if only i could text you this smell
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
