Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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