That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
