And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
