Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
