after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
