Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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