Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
