Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
