And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
