It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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