I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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