Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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