5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
