I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
