So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
