So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
