Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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